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Joke of the Day

"""Hey Adam, can you get me some water?"" ""Sure I can, while I'm up and at 'em!"""

Next Joke
 
"What does a mathematician do when they have constipation....? They work it out with a pencil!"
"Q: What's the highest form of praise you can receive from a pimp? A: A back-handed compliment."
"Russian History in five words ...And then things got worse."
"I have invented a machine *that reads the subtext in different voice*"
"What Did the Dog Say to the Chipmunk? Woof."
"What tea do footballers drink ? Penaltea !"
"Your dog may be smarter than an honor student... but when was the last time you saw a mother carrying a plastic bag in case her honor student shits in the neighbor's yard?"
"What's every spider's dream job? A web designer."
"Relationships are a lot like algebra. You look at X and try to figure out Y."