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Joke of the Day

"Dating must've been so easy for cavemen. This my cave. This my fire. You like rock? I have many."

"GARY: ""You wanna?"" BARRY: ""Ugh. Jesus OK."" (Siamese twins deciding to masturbate)"

"The main reason Santa is so jovial is cuz he knows where all the bad girls live."

"How can you tell what rank a Russian soldier is? Count the stripes on his track pants."

"My doctor went to write me a prescription for my heart meds. He pulled out a rectal thermometer out of his pocket and said ""Shit, some asshole has my pen!"""

"The Boy Scouts ended their ban on gay adults, which means that soon you'll be able to buy some delicious Boy Scout cookies."

"Why was everyone scared of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender"

"What do you call assistants that help citrus fruit? Lemonade."

"Super Mario is so unrealistic. No brother would ever help find his missing sister in law."

"One of Jesus' most impressive accomplishments was being 33 years old and still having 12 really close friends."