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Joke of the Day

"THE WEEKND: I can't feel my face when I'm with you DENTIST (injecting novocaine): that's kinda the point dude"

"With all the complaints about iOS 8 taking forever to install... You'd think that Apple would rename it to iOS ."

"""Room Service? Can you send up a towel?"" ""Please wait someone else is using it."""

"The french word for ""unfortunately"" has 15 letters The english word for unfortunately has 13, but it's two short EDIT: For the curious, the french word is ""malheureusement"""

"I've been dieting for 2 weeks now and so far I lost 5 Instagram followers."

"If Daryl doesn't get laid this season, I'm gonna have to say that this documentary is fake. #TheWalkingDead"

"Why is Hitler's Favorite Animal the Cheetah? Because they are the Facist animals within existence."

"Q: Why do girls like guys who wear shirts with eight buttons? A: They fascinate."

"How to beat depression: 1) Talk to someone 2) When that person says ""just cheer up,"" beat that person with a baseball bat."

"Proper punctuation can be the difference between a tweet being well written and a tweet being well, written."