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Joke of the Day

"My birth control is my 5yo running around in circles at 5am screaming ""I have so much energy! I have so much energy! I have so much energy!"""

"What was the most devastating thing in WW2. The environment was ruined from the gas."

"Did you hear about the power surge across the street? I heard it was a shocking experience."

"So then someone told me Islam is the religion of peace."

"What's Brian David Mitchell's favorite movie? Get Smart"

"Rhinos are really just old, fat unicorns. Don't argue. U know i'm right."

"Whenever I leave a fancy restaurant I tell the people coming in ""I recommend the squirrel""."

"How did the dog get into the locked cemetery at night? He used a skeleton key."

"Why did Thor sit comfortably on a cactus? He has an Asgard ...I'll see myself out"

"If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress"