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Joke of the Day

"My friend stole my Atlas and won't give it back. Seriously it's the world to me."

"How do cities decide who gets to be in charge of wastewater management? They hold a runoff election."

"What did the magician's girlfriend say to the magician? I can't see you anymore."

"I haven't talked to my wife in 8 months... I didn't want to interrupt"

"Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road, I'm gonna leave and come back dressed as Santa with a sign that says ""Help, need ride!"

"First person ever: I HAVE SEVERAL HOLES IN MY FACE WHAT IS HAPPENING"

"Whats white on the outside green on the inside and comes with relish and onions ? A hot frog !"

"Forgetting what you went into the kitchen to get is one thing but, it's darn scary when you can't remember why you went into the bathroom!"

"why would you steal a baby at least steal something good like a truck or a dolphin"

"Why does homemade bread not make your throat itch? It's made from scratch ^*NB ^OP ^is ^heckle-proof*"