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Joke of the Day

"Forgetting what you went into the kitchen to get is one thing but, it's darn scary when you can't remember why you went into the bathroom!"

"I found a good bread recipe where you don't have to get your hands messy from mixing it The bread was kneadless, to say"

"Florida is about to release millions of genetically modified mosquitoes. I hope when they bite you they make you drive better."

"What do you get when a clown dies in a desert? Dry Humour."

"There was a counter top on layaway at Home Depot. They said it was for the Packers' punt returner, Hyde. It was for Micah."

"""i am trapped in a loveless marriage help me obi-wan you're my only hope"" ""use divorce, luke"""

"twitter might remove the 140 character limit so i'm putting some 800 word tweets with character development & plot twists in my drafts"

"Love it how music can take you to another place . For example, One direction is playing in this restaurant so i'm going to a different one."

"If I had a dime for every time I didn't know what was going on... I'd be like, ""Why ya'll keep giving me all these dimes?"""

"I tried to make a clock with no battery for the digital clock competition but it didn't count."