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Joke of the Day

"First person ever: I HAVE SEVERAL HOLES IN MY FACE WHAT IS HAPPENING"

"Saw two construction workers laughing today... I know what they were really building, friendship"

"90% of life is just having the courage to show up. The other 30% is just checking the math."

"How can you tell what rank a Russian soldier is? Count the stripes on his track pants."

"Unscramble: pnise If you got spine, you are correct. The rest of you have been on twitter too long."

"Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, ""I still love Vista, baby""."

"what you call a Chinese man with a camera? Phil ming"

"My wife said she was divorcing me because I am obsessed with masturbation. I told her to go fuck herself"

"What do ghosts order at the bar? Sam-BOO!-ca"

"I was at an airport recently and there was a aircraft that was pure white. Looked pretty plane to me."