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Joke of the Day
"How do you make holy water? Fill a pot with water and boil the hell out of it."
Next Joke
"Why did the chicken cross the road? It got sick of hearing the vegan talk about how he saved a chicken."
"In history we were asked to give our opinion on the representation of slaves in the United States in the 18th and 19th centuries... I gave it a 3 out of 5"
"A man goes into a pharmacy And asks, Do you have pills for memory? The pharmacist says, Yes we do. And the man goes: You do what?"
"My kids keep bugging me about dinner even after I told them I already ate..."
"If you're havin AutoCorrect problems I feel bad for you son. I got 99 parabolas bit s butch Saint omg."
"What's the difference between ""ooo"" and ""ahhhh""? About 3 inches."
"10YO: [on her ipad] beat my high score! ME: y'know they're just numbers on a screen right? they don't mean anything [checks follower count]"
"If electricity takes the path of least resistance... why doesn't lightning only strike the country of France?"
"When the ex asks to be friends... it's like your mum telling you that your dog is dead but you can keep it."