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Joke of the Day

"Why wasn't the son of God worried when Microsoft Word crashed while he was writing his term paper? Because Jesus saves."

"I've opened a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50."

"My ex's taught me that not every I love you is real."

"Adulting so well today. Managed to make the bed while i was still in it. Now to figure out how to get out, without messing it up."

"I only go to porn sites because I'm addicted to computer viruses."

"What happens when you get hit by a rental car? It Hertz."

"How many possibilities does a man with no arms and legs have? Limbitless"

"As a cop, I can't play PokemonGo... So I play Pokemon blacks: Gotta catch Jamal."

"Why does the corn hate the farmer? Because he picks his ears!"

"[God is taking a nap] Prankster Angel: Um yea hi, Abraham? This is God. *trying super hard not to laugh* You need to kill your son."