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Joke of the Day

"[God is taking a nap] Prankster Angel: Um yea hi, Abraham? This is God. *trying super hard not to laugh* You need to kill your son."

"The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something you're not will lead to a sweet reward."

"TIFU by serving a hasidic man a footlong Italian BMT. Oops, wrong sub."

"What does a baker say when he/she makes a mistake? ""Dough!"""

"What is red and white and red and white and red and ....? Santa Clause rolling down a hill"

"jokes about depression used to be funny.... now they're just sad."

"Dear yellow traffic light, Challenge accepted. Sincerely, a driver ready to get home"

"I was told to bring a box of tissues with me when my friends and I watched Bambi. You can imagine my disappointment."

"So she was like, ""Put on some protection"". I then pulled out & wore a yellow construction hat. We laughed & laughed & now I have herpes."

"A girl comes home to her mother She walks up to her and says ""Mom, a creep in the park today asked me to give him a blowjob for this beautiful necklace!"""