60309

Joke of the Day

"Hey, do you guys remember Sex Ed from High School? He's in jail now."

"What is space like without a space suit? Breathtaking"

"[On couch, notices it's 6pm] Luckily I don't have to pick up the kids from the Christmas party until 8. *Notices it's February* OH SHIT"

"What's the difference between a tea bag and a used tampon? - What's the Difference between a tea bag and a used tampon? - I dunno... - I'm never drinking tea at your house again then!"

"What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and is on fire? Bernie."

"Why did the fly fly ?"

"My friends say I'm shallow... because I won't sleep with someone who's 200."

"I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey... But then I turned myself around"

"I know I'll never be a rocket scientist... because the amount of math they have to do is astronomical and I'm not very stellar at it."

"So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods... The boy says, ""hey mister its getting dark out and I'm scared"" The guy says, ""how do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"""