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Joke of the Day

"[On couch, notices it's 6pm] Luckily I don't have to pick up the kids from the Christmas party until 8. *Notices it's February* OH SHIT"

"What did the nihilist say to the physicist? Nevermind, it doesn't really matter."

"You know when your a procrastinator when... You're"

"So, hows your DNS lookup up? Yet again, I am very sorry."

"sapnu puas Turn it upside down ;)"

"What does a carpenter do after one night stand? A matching one for the other side of the bed."

"What Do People Have In Common With Jellybeans? Nobody likes the black ones."

"My girlfriend is like Windows... She's 10."

"Modern day camping is an uncharged phone."

"How do you get four old ladies to yell ""SHIT!"" Get a fifth old lady to yell ""BINGO!"""