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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't Karl Marx like Earl Grey tea? Because all proper tea is theft."

"When I watch The Walking Dead I can't help but think those zombies are in way better shape than me."

"Which is worse, insouciance or ignorance? I don't know and I don't care."

"Pilots will get this. RETARD! RETARD!"

"A batch of muffins are baking in the oven ... a muffin says to the other muffin 'getting hot in here eh' The other muffin says HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN"

"How do you cook vegatables in the microwave ? Take them out their wheelchair."

"I may be dating myself here, but the restaurant doesn't mind my intricate placement of mirrors that fool me into believing I'm not alone."

"Why did the crab jump out of the water? Because the SeaWeed.."

"He saved his family three times in the Taken films and got no thanks. The next one should be called Taken 4: Granted"

"TIFU by posting in the wrong subreddit."