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Joke of the Day

"Why did the crab jump out of the water? Because the SeaWeed.."

"I didn't let my st-st-stutter stop me from achieving my dream career I'm a door-to-door salesman. I sell ""No Soliciting"" signs. The more I st-st-stutter the more I seem to sell."

"What does James Bond say after a heavy workout? I would like to have Whey. Shaken, not stirred."

"I'm not a god. I'm a regular guy who just happens to be immortal and perfect in every way. There's a difference."

"FUN BIT OF TRIVIA...The hard-working individuals who discover and preserve ancient pastas and breads are called starchaeologists."

"Whats the perfect place to hide a body on the internet? The second page of a youtube search."

"The MAIN reason why I don't let my Girlfriend play my X-Box!! ... I don't have a girlfriend."

"THEM: Let's head down to Paradise City. I heard the girls are really hot there. ME: What's the grass situation?"

"Use chemicals to remove polish and no one bats an eye, Use chemicals to remove the Polish and you're literally Hitler."

"No matter how bad things get, at least I have my fingers! I know I can always count on them."