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Joke of the Day

"This is a step ladder. I never knew my real ladder. Last I heard he was in a twelve step program. I'll see myself out."

"""I don't have to run faster than the bear. I just have to run faster than you,"" I say to my hiking companion. It is Usain Bolt. A bear waves"

"Enrages me when I see guys using cute dogs to pick up chicks. It's like, why did I have kids."

"[eharmony] based on your responses, your perfect match is a trashcan.. [me] aww [eharmony] ..full of raccoons [me] omg I love raccoons"

"What would happen if all Chinese people jumped off a chair, all at the same time? I don't know either, but you would need a reeeally big chair!"

"Rectum? Damn near killed'em Does anyone know the beginning of this joke? I only know the butt of it."

"What do you call an egoistical sea animal? Selfish"

"Cation Pronunciation : [kat-ahy-uhn,-on] -Noun Chemistry 1.An ion with paws-tive charge. 2.The cutest ion ever."

"Which meatballs get a little tipsy on occasion? The POTTED ones!"

"I finally lost my virginity Congrats, bro, sit down and tell me about it. Can't sit yet."