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Joke of the Day

"Only in SF: people checking into the riot on Foursquare."

"It's a vagina, not a small business!"

"My wife said the infinity scarf I got her is too small and I said: ""That's mathematically impossible."" Anyhoo, we're divorced now."

"Hey girl, are you a repost? Because I fucking hate you and wish you didn't exist."

"If you are what you eat ...never order a #2."

"Steven Gerrard obviously believes his best chance of winning the Premier League is to join the MLS and then hope that Man City try to sign him."

"the iPhone 8 won't even come with headphones you'll have to imagine you're listening to music"

"A Mexican went into a Japanese restaurant and ordered but only to be disappointed when he was served with a live Octopus slammed in his plate. He asked for a taco."

"A guy walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables the bartender says, buddy, I'll serve you as long as you don't start anything."

"Ladies: If ""snuggling"" is so important to you, have the guy do that BEFORE you have sex. Trust me...... He'll snuggle and snuggle and snuggle..."