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Joke of the Day

"A heads up to girls on Facebook .. if your status says ""single"" and your profile picture is you with your cat - Well then no fucking shit"

"A mountain was next to another mountain.. An earthquake happens and one of the mountains say.. ""It wasn't my fault!"" credit to my awesome science teacher"

"Biggest Jewish Dilemma? Free Bacon!!"

"I told a very average joke in the cheese aisle today. The crowd went mild."

"What do you call a violent white man? Officer"

"Learning-disabled lions are called leotards, right? Anyway, when dancers ask you to drop off old ones for needy kids, DON'T! So much blood."

"If a Rabbit Foot is considered good luck, then a Camel Toe should be considered amazing luck!"

"What Did Superman Tell Superwoman? Do you want to be in my Crib Tonight (Kryptonite)"

"A little girl asked her Dad one day, ""Dad, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time?'"" Her Dad replied, ""No honey, some of them begin with If I'm elected.'"""

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a used car sales person? The used car sales person knows they are lying."