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Joke of the Day

"What Does A Chinese Man Need When Taking his Dog Out? Oven mitts."

"So I had a dream the other night that I won $100K on a scratch off lottery ticket. Tonight I bought one and I won my $1 back"

"Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? She gets a frog in her throat at 69! Wakka wakka wakka!"

"I'm going to major in Philosophy when I go to college... ...so one day I can ask '*Why* do you want fries with that?'"

"I can tell a dude is gay by what kind of music he is playing when I walk in on him banging another dude."

"My wife is from England so I gave her a good Rogering for Valentine's Day. He just left and she seemed to enjoy it, so... score?"

"What do you call a bra stretched across a road? A booby-trap"

"What advice did Tiger Woods' dad have for Tiger during training? Concentrate on golffuck everything else."

"The Post Office announced today that it is going to issue a stamp commemorating prostitution in the United States. It's a ten-cent stamp, but if you want to lick it, it's a quarter"

"To think, millions of children go to bed every night without knowing what their Sleep Number is."