225467

Joke of the Day

"I'm going to major in Philosophy when I go to college... ...so one day I can ask '*Why* do you want fries with that?'"

"Boss: Have I made myself clear? Me: No, I can still see you. Boss: Shakes head."

"Nurse: ""Oh jeez, was that you that fell 20 ft out of the tree?"" I don't know, I wasn't counting. Not much of a joke but it was hilarious when my grandpa said it at the hospital (happened to him ofc)."

"""Lets all start wearing weird '90s mom jeans!"" - girls now"

"What do you call a Woolworths that has been burned down? Coles"

"I'm available if anyone needs me to ruin a good thing before it even starts."

"I bet the government is behind all these conspiracy theories."

"girlfriend asks you to get wine: You're getting laid wife asks you to get wine: You're getting yelled at"

"Advice on getting a girl everytime My friend told me to use oysters, they work every time. I replied bollox she will notice them floating in her drink."

"I hate being bipolar, it's great"