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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between the NBA and a pint of Guinness? Nothing. They're both mostly black, with a little bit of white at the top."

"Working with horses is hard but it's stable work."

"One might say it smells like pussy in the room But if you ask a Redditor, they couldn't tell you."

"ME: my therapist told me to stop talking about people as if they weren't here THERAPIST: [rubbing temples] i know"

"What's the worst part about meeting someone with Parkinson's? Shaking hands."

"I often break into song The keys are so well hidden"

"Walnut: I look exactly like a brain. Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree. Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella. Walnut: I look exactly like a brain. Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?"

"I don't know why they don't let priests marry and have kids seems like a great way to guarantee they don't have sex."

"My boss: Are you on Twitter? Me: I've never heard of it. Is it a drug? Why would you ask? Am I acting funny? Maybe you're acting funny."

"Did you know Jesus has nice abs? He does crossfit."