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Joke of the Day

"Who called it confronting ur husband Stanley about flirty texts from a girl named Rebecca from a former soviet state and not Who'sbeckystan?"

"Some worlds just want to watch the men burn Like hell, and the sun."

"How to annoy a Redditor? [deleted]"

"My ten year old son just asked me what were the 80's like. So I turned the Wi-Fi off and took away his smart phone."

"Just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard. Pillow fight!!"

"<-- Spends a good 10 minutes removing the stuffed animals from my bed before we get down to business. But Rupert stays, he likes to watch."

"Do you know the difference between lunch and a blowjob? You don't??? We should have lunch sometime!"

"What do you call a crazy bug on the moon? A luna-tick."

"I fucked a sarcastic girl. She loved it."

"How does a sloth hang itself? By trying to jump rope."