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Joke of the Day

"<-- Spends a good 10 minutes removing the stuffed animals from my bed before we get down to business. But Rupert stays, he likes to watch."

"Happy 15th bday, Internet Explorer! We baked you a cake. What's that funny taste? Definitely not poison. Have another slice!"

"What is the favorite food joint of dubstep makers? Sub-WUB-WUB-WUB-way"

"Ever been in the middle of writing a great tweet and think, did I just run someone over?"

"What did the gay deer say after he left the bar ? Man, I can't believe I blew 50 bucks in there"

"Math puns are the first sine of insanity Title"

"So my fiancee rolls over, wakes me up, and says, ""honey, your alarm is going off."" I say..... ""pics or didn't happen."""

"You can reach 80 years Doctor: Your health seems to be in such a condition that I believe you can reach 80 years. *But doctor, I am already 80!* You see - I told you to quit smoking."

"When I was a child, I was raped by a group of mimes. They performed unspeakable acts on me."

"Why are there no white chinese people? It's because two Wongs don't make a white."