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Joke of the Day

"My ten year old son just asked me what were the 80's like. So I turned the Wi-Fi off and took away his smart phone."

"A good name for a dog would be syndrome. Because then you could say down, syndrome. -courtesy of norm macdonald ;)"

"What is the most common french saying? ""nous abandonnons"""

"After reading that Afghanistan had the highest infant mortality rate, this occurred to me. What do you call Afghan triplets? Twins! I am so sorry...."

"You're like my hard drive. Fat and 32"

"Why does anal porn never have a good plot? Too many loose ends."

"I bartered a ring for a shop vac All she does is suck up my wallet and spend all my money."

"What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? I can't hear an enzyme."

"Whenever I see an empty pizza box in a neighbor's garbage can, I get jealous someone had a better night than I did."

"What do you call a French bathroom with a bomb in it? Linoleum Blownapart"