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Joke of the Day

"I've just been dumped by my girlfriend. She found me creepy because I have a nickname for my penis. Guess now that I'm single again, I'll have to take Matters into my own hands."

"What did one motherfucker say to the other motherfucker? Hows it going motherfucker"

"What's the difference between black people and cancer? Cancer got Jobs"

"Stoners are gearing up to do on 4/20 what they do every other day of the year."

"A man goes to a psychiatrist... ...and he's holding a duck by the belly. The psychiatrist asks, ""Can I help you?"" The guy responds, ""Idunno. I've just been feeling down."""

"I hate buying Velcro.. it's such a ripoff!"

"Damn girl, you must be a moped Because I love riding you but I'd be extremely embarrassed if any of my friends saw me on you"

"Trivia Crack is much safer than regular crack, but it will still tear your family apart."

"Treat your relationships as you would your teeth, daily attention and they could last a lifetime, too bad the same can't be said for hair."

"Have you heard about the dating site for radical jihadists? It's called ""Our Timer"""