55860

Joke of the Day

"[magic school bus] KID: where are we going today MS. FRIZZLE: the zoo KID: but last week we went to SPACE MS. FRIZZLE: im hungover, children"

"How do you cut the sea in half? With a seesaw (I'll see myself out)"

"i got locked in the PBR factory over the weekend... i did what i had to do to survive and drank my own piss"

"Why did the mathematician ignore the tan lady on the beach? He was too concerned with the tan gent."

"when I die I want you to save my skull and use me as a paperweight (and kiss me when no one is looking)"

"I feel like Donald Trump and Bill Clinton have a $1 bet that Trump can make Hillary president and Bill can make her not president."

"whats a frogs favorite type of metal joining practice? A rivet"

"I'll bet Petr Pan lives in Nether Netherland."

"Surprised Scarlett Johansson didn't leg sweep Travolta, throw him over her should onto his back and put her foot on his throat."

"If I ever lost my phone I'd rather just start a new life in another city."