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Joke of the Day
"If Cadillacs are Jew-canoes, what are BMW M6's? Jew-boats."
Next Joke
"Why did Johnny Cash have the Cocaine Blues? He ran out of cocaine."
"Today is apparently Ash Wednesday which I can only assume has something to do with our hero from the hit TV show Pokemon."
"For my birthday... For my birthday I got myself glasses. So my observational comedy's really improved"
"That sinking feeling when you realize you forgot to lock your clubhouse when you were 8, and it's probably all infested now with girls"
"If Trump and Hillary were both drowning in a lake... would you want regular or sweet potato fries with your burger?"
"Good cop: u want a drink? Good cop 2: I love your shirt Good cop 3: ur so ripped dude Good cop 4: the bad cops are striking today, handsome"
"Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil."
"The TSA doesn't take compliments well... All I said was that the TSA was the **BOMB** and they wouldn't let me leave!"
"What do they do with Tickle-Me-Elmo's before he leaves the factory? Give him a couple of test-tickles."