194405

Joke of the Day

"For my birthday... For my birthday I got myself glasses. So my observational comedy's really improved"

"Winnie the pooh just died. I know, its hard to bear"

"Damn girl, are you a Muse song? Because on the outside you're ablaze and alive, but you're dead inside."

"I will give Canada this. Their geese are hard to keep in a headlock."

"Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period? A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her?"

"On the anniversary of Harambe's death... the Cincinnati Zoo should have special deals all day. Discounts for Harambe."

"What's Thor's favourite piece of clothing? Thunderpants"

"I'm jealous of turtles because if they don't want to talk to someone, they're like ""Nah, dude, busy in my shell right now. Come back later."""

"Add a word to ruin a movie name: 1- Batman begins...School 2- Charlottes web ... cam 3- the birds...pop 4- Jennifer's body...so hot 5- The cousin's...password"

"I'm always ready with my mallet when sewer workers poke their head up from under a manhole."