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Joke of the Day

"At a restaurant: ""Would you like a table?"" ""No, not at all. I came here to eat on the floor. Carpet for 5 please."""

"Why do you get when you cross a Rhino with a Panzer tank? A bloody mess"

"When you get 3 out of 4, its... not half bad!"

"Shopping with girlfriend, she says, ""let's go down this aisle."" Me - K. Why? Her - It's a surprise. Me - K. Why? Her - Just grab that. *points* Me - K. Why? Her - KY. Me - K... Her - Y."

"Did you know people are getting paid to mention products in their Facebook statuses?.....That's as crazy as the low low prices at Dave's Furniture Emporium"

"My ransom was dropped from $30,000 to fifty bucks when my parents told my kidnappers it'd take 2 days to come up with the money."

"Go sport ball! Game time! Yelling and outfits! Beer! You guys are bad! We are good! Sports yelling! Bright colors! #sports"

"applebees is a word that starts off pretty tame but takes a dangerous twist"

"What's the worst thing about eating a vegtable? Putting her back in the wheel chair..."

"I routinely take 8 flights of stairs for no other reason than to avoid idle chit chat in the elevator. See, hating people can be healthy!"