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Joke of the Day

"Morning meeting about improving communication cancelled because not everyone knew about it. I wish I could make this up."

"Dad, I don't wanna sleep with my little brother anymore! - I know, son, but I already told you that we don't have enough money to bury him."

"I had a Mayweather joke, but it ran away from me."

"What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I don't pay a garbanzo bean $100 to go on my face."

"What has been confirmed when Ariana Grande spat on the donuts? She's a spitter, not a swallower."

"What's so great about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus."

"What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain :D"

"WIFE: What are you doing? ME: [struggling on floor] Yoga WIFE: At the bottom of the stairs? ME: WIFE: You fell down the stairs ME: Yes"

"I'm so old, I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign. And before that, we used to play Tic-Tac-Toe on that shit."

"Whats the difference between two dicks and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke."