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Joke of the Day

"Dad, I don't wanna sleep with my little brother anymore! - I know, son, but I already told you that we don't have enough money to bury him."

"You know what they say about STD'S Sharing is caring"

"*breaks into museum* *sprays fine mist to show alarm lasers* *plays a sweet jam on boombox* *krumps right into each beam*"

"I wanna be rich enough to realize that I can't buy happiness."

"I wanted to roll a joint but i didn't have any paper. Lucky that i still had my iphone.."

"If one door closes and another door opens, then probably your in a jail."

"Dating. I met my wife at a Singles Bar. Funny thing is, I thought she was at home looking after the kids."

"People who automatically say it will get better without actually knowing what the problem is... is why there are bodies buried in my yard"

"Well Officer..we didn't have a bottle so that dead guy over there.. ""Him?"" No the other dead guy..suggested ""Spin The .44""..And I WON!"

"What super hero league is Caitlyn Jenner part of? The X-Men"