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Joke of the Day

"Dad, I don't wanna sleep with my little brother anymore! - I know, son, but I already told you that we don't have enough money to bury him."

"What's long, green, and smells like pork? Kermit the frog's finger"

"A furniture-maker got caught by his wife coming in at 4am ""Damn it, Jesse! I will not let you ruin our marriage over one night stand!"""

"What's the difference between a magician's wand and a nightstick? One is used for cunning stunts, the other is used for stunning cunts."

"Why does coffee take so long to make in a purcolator? Because it's not called a purconow."

"A cannibal walked into a female patient's surgery room... ""I'll take the eggs, please."""

"A farmer was counting his cows.... A farmer was counting his cows and initially only counted 196, but when he rounded them up he had 200."

"Why couldn't stevie wonder drive the bus? There's no steering wheel in the back of the bus."

"I read a Braille spy novel today that made me extremely paranoid... It was like something just didn't feel right."

"On a microwave, typing in 90 gives you a longer cooking time than typing in 100. MIND BLOWN"