59403

Joke of the Day

"I found a wallet today As a good Christian I thought: What would Jesus do? So I turned it to wine"

"Me and my baby mama are gonna name the kid Pun It wasn't intended"

"I like my women like I like my coffee Warm and a joy to wake up to in the morning : )"

"CHEF: You're fired ME: Is it cause I call beef patty's ""beef patricias?"" CHEF: Yes ME: Can I have some Switzerland cheese bef- CHEF: GET OUT"

"An anteater walks into a bar... ""First the horse, now this asshole"" remarked the bartender. Credit: u/reduxde"

"What's the most scandalous of the wonders of the ancient world? The Colossus of Scrotes."

"How many ears does Spock have? Three. A right ear, a left ear, and a final frontier."

"Every woman should have four pets... A mink in her closet, a Jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed...and a Jackass to pay for all of it"

"Happiness won't just walk into your life on its own. But neither will unhappiness. So if you don't want trouble in your life... then you'd best stay still and never move a muscle."

"I had some stir-fry delivered. I don't really like liver."