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Joke of the Day

"Happiness won't just walk into your life on its own. But neither will unhappiness. So if you don't want trouble in your life... then you'd best stay still and never move a muscle."

"What's the difference between the Joker and Ronald McDonald? The Joker only killed people in Gotham City."

"Fun to hear newscasters, while their chopper hovers over an active crime scene, scold people ""the last thing the police need is spectators"""

"What is the difference between an epileptic oyster farmer and a prostitute with diarrhea? One shucks while he fits and the other one...."

"A red piller, an MRA, and a gamergator walks into a bar The bartender asks him to leave because bars are 21+ Credit: /u/reese_ridley"

"A man walks into a podiatrist and whaps his cock out The staff look at him and say ""thats not a foot"" ""No but its a good 9 inches"" Bu-dum-tissh"

"Christopher Columbus: discovered nothing, kidnapped, enslaved & murdered natives & gets a national holiday honoring him? Well played, sir."

"What do you do you with an elephant with three balls? Walk him and pitch to the rhino."

"Why is Microsoft skipping Windows 9? Because Windows 7 8 9"

"man I hate tailgaters I was doing 35 over the limit today and the idiot behind me was still tailgating and the flashing lights on his car looked stupid too"