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Joke of the Day

"my mom's cat has been in our family since 2002 and i never saw it get a boner til tonight. animals are awful and perverted"

"I told the cop I was an upstanding citizen But I was really lying"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Disco Barbie ...dressed in chiffon; inclbiudes disco ball"

"I am on a seafood diet Every time I see food, I eat it."

"What are the unspoken rules of sign language? All of them"

"Tried to sign up to a website the other day... I put my password as ""beef stew"" It said password not stroganoff."

"DATE: so this is my dad and this is his porcelain cat collection ME: wow, I feel like I'm in a DATE: no ME: mewseum DAD: *nods his approval*"

"I was sitting on the toilet at 11:59 pm The clock turned to 12:00 and I thought to myself, ""Same shit, different day."""

"I hate girls with double standards unless they're pretty"

"Two guys are drinking in a bar... One says to the other, ""Did you know that elks have sex 10 to 15 times a day?"" ""Aww, shit!"" says his friend, ""and I just joined the Knights of Columbus!"""