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Joke of the Day
"I hate girls with double standards unless they're pretty"
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"[ Spelling bee ] Your word is Harry Potter Voldermort: Avada Kedavra!"
"What do you call a dinosaur prisoner that drops the soap during shower time? Buttholeissaurus-wreckt"
"*burglar breaks in* *i reach into my nightstand drawer, get my phone, & take his picture* Burglar: No I have a double chin! Me: I'll post it"
"Woman of my dreams I don't sleep so I can't find her!"
"So I asked my North Korean friend how his life was going He said ""Can't complain""."
"I witnessed an attempted murder earlier... Luckily only one crow showed up..."
"""The limo is broken""... Said the limo driver who looked like a person but darker colored"
"21 afraid of 20 We all know why 6 was afraid of 7, but why was 21 terrified of 20? Because twenty-eight twenty-nine... (With profuse apologies.)"
"Murphy said to his daughter ""I want you home by eleven o'clock."" She said ""But Father I'm no longer a child!"" He said ""I know that's why I want you home by eleven."""