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Joke of the Day

"Conan: The US is on pace 2 b the world's largest producer of oil. So if history has taught us anything, the US will soon be invading the US."

"People who complain that my Christmas gifts are ""stupid"" and ""thoughtless"" clearly have no idea how hard it is to wrap a pineapple."

"I had to quit my job at the helium factory. No one talks to me like that."

"I was caught after ditching a cab without paying... I was charged with Taxi Evasion."

"What thought can you easily share with someone else without using words? That you **had** to fart."

"Knock knock who's there Jo Jo who? Jo moms!"

"My boss decided to give me some more responsibility... From now on, I'm responsible for everything that goes wrong..."

"A baguette up the butt is a real pain in the ass."

"How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? You suck his cock!"

"Did you hear about the college for dolphins? It was for educational porpoises only."