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Joke of the Day

"People who complain that my Christmas gifts are ""stupid"" and ""thoughtless"" clearly have no idea how hard it is to wrap a pineapple."

"He called me ugly.... I called him an ambulance."

"'I Love You' is a mathematical function where, 'I Love' - is constant and ; 'You' - is a variable.."

"A woman turns to her husband and asks... ""Dear, how many women have you slept with?"" He replied, ""Just you dear, the other ones kept me awake."""

"Mummy! Mummy! Have you seen my Cabbage Patch Doll? Be quiet and finish your coleslaw!"

"Over the past year my sexual perversions have been getting more perverse. But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I'd hit rock bottom."

"What's the difference between a politician and a catfish? http://www.madoodle.com/doodle/view/2989/"

"In a furious argument, the wife tells her husband... - I should have married the devil instead of you! - Well, that's impossible. Marriage between cousins is forbidden!"

"What does Peter Gabriel sing on the toilet? I am the extruder..."

"Where do cats go once they have used up all nine of their lives? Purrgatory."