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Joke of the Day

"You know you're not a Harry Potter fan if: you think a parcel-tongue is someone who can speak to packages."

"I'm writing a book about reverse psychology.. Please don't buy it."

"Now that it's 2017 I can finally make this joke! I haven't showered since last year! Hahaha"

"I think abs are for guys that don't have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool."

"What's the difference between America and Europe? In America, we call our inbred hillbillies. In Europe, they call them royals."

"My wife and I moved to a new house. It's the only place I've lived where I can tolerate the neighbours. It's next to a cemetery."

"Meet my good friend 50 Cent, or as he's known across the pond... 10,000 Pounds"

"What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna"

"I'm not saying you're a jackass but... You're the kind of guy who would buy Anne Frank a drum set."

"I tucked my kids in last night and said, ""See you in the morning!"" and then we laughed and laughed. Saw them 16 more times before sunrise."