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Joke of the Day

"I tucked my kids in last night and said, ""See you in the morning!"" and then we laughed and laughed. Saw them 16 more times before sunrise."

"I tried to be a workaholic but workahol tastes like shit."

"What is Laziness? Logical Answer It is the Art of Taking Rest Before Getting Tired."

"Why couldn't the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter? Because it was too Win+D"

"What concert cost 45 cents? 50 cent featuring Nickleback."

"If 'con' is the opposite of 'pro', then the opposite of progress is..."

"What economic theory opposes manscaping? Laissez-fur!"

"Do you know what happened to my tooth in the dentist's office? [Filled]"

"Hate when I eat the last bite and didn't notice it was the last bite so I couldn't mentally prepare myself and get any closure."

"FUN FACT: The Olsen twins were actually triplets but Mary ate her sister Kate in utero and that's why she has two names"