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Joke of the Day

"""Please note that WinRAR is not free software. After a 40 day trial period you must either buy a license or remove it from your computer."""

"What do you tell a woman with black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice."

"Who is modern fiction's most notorious serial killer? George R. R. Martin."

"3 guys just arrived to heaven and... 3 guys just arrived to heaven and then Jesus proceeds to call by their names: - ""Rand"" kiss my hand! - ""Pete"" kiss my feet! Then Jesus: Rick!? Why are you running?"

"If you want your wife or girlfriend to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep."

"A Priest and a Rabbi are walking behind a 3rd grader. The priest says ""hey we should screw that kid"" The rabbi says ""outta what?'"

"My father always told me, he liked his women like he liked his sunglasses. Sitting on his face."

"A group of held hands can raise your spirits. It's seance!"

"Jehovah's Witnesses are like testicles They come in pairs, one is always bigger than the other, they keep knocking on the door but never get in, and if they do, shits about to get freaky."

"A man walks into... A chemical store and asks the man there for some noble gas. The man replies ""sorry, we don't have Ne"""