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Joke of the Day

"A Priest and a Rabbi are walking behind a 3rd grader. The priest says ""hey we should screw that kid"" The rabbi says ""outta what?'"

"Stupid millennials. Always on their phones. Always doing chatsnaps. Always being born into a world where ownership determines everything."

"I tried typing ""penis"" as my new password and I got an error message saying it was too short."

"Does your dog like children? Yes, but he prefers dog food."

"Social butterfly? Nah. I'm more like a social Sasquatch. Some people swear they've seen me, but no one really believes them."

"How did the raisin have fun at the movies? It took a date...."

"So a circumference walks into a restaurant... ...sits down and orders a bowl of diameter ice cream. The waiter asks, ""You want pie with that?"""

"What's the last thing to go through a bug's mind as he hits your car windshield on the highway? His ass."

"What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Santa stops at 3 hoes"

"Why do people say amen instead of awomen at church? Because they sing hymns, not hers."