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Joke of the Day
"Me I'm a joke."
Next Joke
"Cop: ""You been drinkin?"" Me: I'm going to dinner w/my wife's mom & 94yo granny ""You're free to go.."" Come on dude. Can't you just arrest me?"
"Gave up on my dream of being a murderer a long time ago. I leave long hair everywhere & everyone knows its mine without doing a DNA test."
"SERIOUS WARNING! Do not go outside! On the 31st December around 11:59pm. Do not go outside your house otherwise chances are, you will not come back until next year!!! Please tell everyone u care for."
"Father: "" I know the answer to your bad grades. You're spending too much time watching television."" Son: "" I'm sorry you'll have to phrase that in the form of a question."""
"What happened when the cannibal was late to the dinner party? He got the cold shoulder."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Barbie ! Barbie who ? Barbie Q !"
"If my name was Dave I'd text my friends today saying ""IT'S FRIDAVE! LET'S PARTY!"". They'd be sick of me by Tuesdave."
"HAD LOTS OF ESPRESSO. TWEETING FROM THE MOON. I LIVE HERE NOW. IT IS NOT MADE OUT OF CHEESE. 1 OUT OF 5 STARS: NOT RECOMMENDED"
"why did the scarecrow get a promotion? he was outstanding in his field"