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Joke of the Day

"Father: "" I know the answer to your bad grades. You're spending too much time watching television."" Son: "" I'm sorry you'll have to phrase that in the form of a question."""

"Caught myself staring into the medicine cabinet like I do with the refrigerator."

"You think I'm not online. But, I'm always here. Even if I'm not posting. I'm here. Scrolling...Judging."

"How did I get out of Afghanistan? Iran."

"Turns out she has a boyfriend.. I see this hot girl wating for the bus so I got over there and said: ""Hey, you are fucking hot!"" and she is like: ""Have you seen Taken, if not - look at me""."

"Did you hear about the bacterial outbreak in the office? They said it was a staff infection."

"met the cutest girl today. her eyes were gentle, like the light from a phone screen and her smile glowed, like the light from a phone screen"

"Why do bears' mouths water whenever they look at Trump? Because they think that thing on his head (his hair) is an animal and they want to eat it."

"So what goes around comes around eh? Try saying that to my belt"

"Have you heard of the new band The Transmission Lines? I hear they have so much potential."