58917

Joke of the Day

"Robin Williams joke from Bicentennial Man A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, ""Make me one with everything."""

"What did the flower say to the bicycle? Petal."

"What can't I find on the internet? My keys"

"I used to have a lot of sex... Then my VR headset broke."

"I don't like skinny fashion models cause I find their lack of weight disturbing."

"Dr: Have you been getting enough exercise? Me: Does sex count as exercise? Dr: Yes. Me: No."

"Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy? He was too far-out."

"College parties are great: You're taking shots with future doctors and the next Supreme Court judge is throwing up in the bathroom."

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently not five because my basements still dark..."

"I got caught peeing in the pool the other day The lifeguard yelled at me so loud that I almost fell in."