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Joke of the Day

"Dr: Have you been getting enough exercise? Me: Does sex count as exercise? Dr: Yes. Me: No."

"What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? I can't jelly my dick in your ass."

"It's just an alarm clock Really, it is. http://imgur.com/tdZrIAB"

"My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad that I finally had to take his bike away."

"If life was reddit... I'd still be unpopular"

"Police Officer: Why were you speeding? Women Driver: I was late for traffic school."

"Two tomatoes are sitting in a refrigerator One turns to the other and says: ""It's really cold in here"". and the other one says: [""JESUS CHRIST A TALKING TOMATO!!""](/spoiler)"

"Jesus Never Fails If Jesus was a program, he would never fail. Why? Because he was born in a stable environment."

"Is your food spicy Sir ? No smoke always comes out of my ears !"

"If you tweet about orthopedic shoes enough, you don't even need to write ""No DMs"" in your bio."