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Joke of the Day

"Hey, John... Yeah? If killing a man is a homicide, then is killing a swiss person a suicide?"

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? The prostitute stops screwing the client when they die. Source: eavesdropping on the legal counsel at work."

"What's supposed to be funny, but let's you down? This joke..."

"What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a female track team? One is a cunning bunch of runts..."

"Interviewer: Describe yourself in one word. Me: Hired. Interviewer: (under breath) holy shit can he do that?"

"""Mom, I'm sorry I'm not a doctor."" -Me ""It's okay if you're not a doctor, or anything else."" -Mom So true, much wow, no shock."

"Did you hear about the man from the experimental group that was arrested? He was out of control."

"What's black and can't swim? A microwave oven."

"*pulling up to toll both with megaphone in hand* Booth operator: ma'am please not again Me: someBODY once tolled me"

"I asked a blonde, ""How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?"" She answered, ""Two. But they can't fit inside a light bulb to screw in it, silly."""