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Joke of the Day
"I ordered some glue online but it hasn't arrived yet Must have gotten stuck in the post."
Next Joke
"John Cena wakes up in the hospital Cena : Where am I? Nurse : I.C.U Cena : No you can't"
"What did Dr Dre cook for Thanksgiving? Beats."
"Mary Had a Little Lamb She also had a bear. I've seen Mary's little lamb. But, I've never seen her bear."
"So my friends played a practical joke on me They gave me a candy bar & told me it was chocolate, but it was actually carob. Fucking carob terrorists!"
"Republicans say it's raining; Democrats say it's sunny. Rather than go outside and see for themselves, the media reports the controversy."
"Me: I just souped up my car Person: What kind of engine did you put in it? *cut to me filling my car with tomato soup* Me: Um... A fast one."
"I hope you brought the divorce papers... Cuz your legs are about to be separated."
"Do arcades ever clean the joysticks? 'Cause I've sucked on a few and they tasted awful."
"WIFE: Where's the dog? *flashback to me giving him the keys to the car to get more beer* ME: I let him outside."