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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between LSD and LDS (Latter Day Saints)? one you take with a sugar cube, the other with a grain of salt :P"

"If you worked for a tarp company your unveiling would be a cover up."

"Alphaterrorism Part of the alphabet has been destroyed in a terrorist attack. It's not yet known which letter had anything to do with the atrocity, but early reports suggest G had."

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out! *guy looks back and laughs, the door punches him in the back of the head*"

"how do you know if you have a high sperm count? your daughter has to chew before she swallows"

"The best thing about being productive is going to bed knowing you did something. Or I think that's how productive people feel. I don't know."

"Give a man a plane ticket... Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life."

"What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife? Engage."

"My friend and I are playing a game.. So my friend and I are currently playing a game. The person who is hated the most by the Reddit community loses. Well, to put it simply.. I just lost the game."

"Two muffins are sitting in an oven One looks to the other and says ""man it's hot in here"" The other looks back and says ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN"""