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Joke of the Day

"Apple and Google are both working on self driving cars. Personally I don't think I want to ride in a car without Windows."

"What did Tony Abbott do when he heard Denmark had surplus wind power ? Cut funding for wind power in Australia"

"Ovens You hear? Germany is now coming out with a new line of ovens...4 seaters and 6 seaters"

"I have decided to become a dolphin... It is my true porpoise in life"

"What's the difference between a gay guy and freezer? A freezer doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it."

"Why was the geometry teacher so dizzy? Cause he kept going in circles..."

"How many ears does spock have? (if you don't get it read it aloud) a left ear, a right ear, and a final front ear."

"I bought a metal detector. Beach better have my money."

"Do you think the dude that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?"

"If by self-help you mean helping myself to all the liquor in your cabinet... Then yeah... I'm about as self-helpful as they come."