58737

Joke of the Day

"What did the gay deer say when he left the bar? ""I can't believe I blew 50 bucks back there!"""

"Bad news: pulled a muscle. Good news: implied presence of muscle ..."

"What's the dieeference between /r/Showerthoughts and /r/jokes?"

"If my dad was president of this country... There would be no Isis. It would be Waswas. Dad walked in to the kitchen and dropped this on me."

"Financial Tip: When laundering money, always separate the bills from the coins and use the delicate cycle with a gentle detergent."

"Hey ladies, tired of your man complaining about how long it takes you to get ready? Start blow drying your hair in the nude. I promise no more complaints."

"Mirror mirror on the wall. Forget the fairest. Who would you fuck?"

"Women who seek to be equal to men...LACK AMBITION!"

"Why didn't we learn about essential oils in school? I mean, that shit is ESSENTIAL. Should've been the first lesson!"

"What's the difference in red and purple...? ... How hard you squeeze it."