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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes when I want to make my girlfriend feel skinny, I just release about 25% of her from the air valve."

"A tried to take a photo of the fog last night. I mist."

"What's faster hot or cold? Hot! Because anyone can catch a cold! buh duh tsst"

"ME: On the one hand, I have this weird rash. And on the other hand DATE: ?? ME: It's on both hands, I should probably see a doctor"

"Why did the tissue get up and dance? It had a little boogy in it."

"How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down"

"What do you call an African American astronaut? An astronaut you racist Jerk."

"A percussionist tells his fellow percussionists some puns His group laughs at every pun he makes. He asks a friend: Hey, are my puns a tenor what?"

"Who thought blowing out candles on a cake was a good tradition? Ah yes; wax would go well with this cake and you know what else? Child spit."

"Dear Shirtless Guy in his Profile Pic, You REALLY want to impress girls? Get a job & pose in front of your cubicle."